awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if only i could text you this smell
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
is that a dick in a sweater?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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