Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Blood and glitter go together right?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
