Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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