Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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