After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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