I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
