No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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