So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?