Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning

Fav 6 946 2219
share tweet
(720): View more from Colorado

Ketchup is God's man juice

Fav 43 2992 1707
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his

Fav 45 980 6444
share tweet
(646): View more from New York

I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.

Fav 11 2463 985
share tweet
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(847): View more from Illinois

I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.

Fav 9 1191 725
share tweet
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls

Fav 1 2099 821
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+61): View more from Australia

I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?

Fav 4 1032 712
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.

Fav 1 496 584
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.

Fav 0 35 42
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT