Texts From Last Night

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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  All of his creepy stalker friends want you too

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  (318): All of his creepy stalker friends want you too http://tfl.nu/8m59
  Replies (25) Good night (568) Bad night (843)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.

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  (732): my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum. http://tfl.nu/6d6p
  Replies (37) Good night (725) Bad night (9081)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.

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  (832): i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life. http://tfl.nu/0m3z
  Replies (29) Good night (1524) Bad night (3236)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.

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  (563): My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night. http://tfl.nu/lmn5
  Replies (14) Good night (1215) Bad night (4324)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom

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  (608): i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom http://tfl.nu/an7n
  Replies (57) Good night (646) Bad night (5111)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.

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  (228): you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out. http://tfl.nu/9xp5
  Replies (19) Good night (3774) Bad night (1356)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.

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  (386): well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake. http://tfl.nu/2ev4
  Replies (8) Good night (2822) Bad night (731)
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  (916): View more from California

  Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.

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  (916): Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is. http://tfl.nu/ux2h
  Replies (19) Good night (2590) Bad night (772)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are

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  (303): I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned. (720): Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed? (303): my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are http://tfl.nu/22n0
  Replies (9) Good night (3805) Bad night (1277)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.

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  (719): If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila. http://tfl.nu/6g2r
  Replies (25) Good night (2060) Bad night (1187)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.

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  (+44): She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn. http://tfl.nu/qwtm
  Replies (0) Good night (534) Bad night (263)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.

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  (919): I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day. http://tfl.nu/lt26
  Replies (4) Good night (742) Bad night (165)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.

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  (601): This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt. http://tfl.nu/idus
  Replies (4) Good night (200) Bad night (462)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.

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  (973): Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts. http://tfl.nu/8jrx
  Replies (4) Good night (205) Bad night (281)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.

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  (623): Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime. http://tfl.nu/nfvc
  Replies (5) Good night (572) Bad night (134)

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