I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
