I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
