yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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