Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
