I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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