so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
