trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
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I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
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Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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