based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
