She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize