You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
