the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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