i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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