If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
