it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
