this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
