PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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