Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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