ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
