Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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