when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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