forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize