Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
