ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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