"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
