I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
