6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
