Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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