My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
