Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
