Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize