Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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