i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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