thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
