it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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