She is in my trunk
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
