You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
