Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
