The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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