I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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