Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
