I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
