I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
