Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize