there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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