Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
