Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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