So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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