hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
