That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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