did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
