Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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