You work out of a Hotel?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Randomize
