She announced her abortion via fbk
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
