okay pat passed out under dana's car
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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